For Those We Leave Behind
by Stargate-Lover-Steph
Summary: The team attempt to help each other through the lose of Mel.
1. 1

I said I would never write this, yet here we are. I hated the whole Mel dead and Frankie disappearing without a trace. In my head Mel never died, Frankie left but came back, and everything was near enough perfect. So, with that said here's my take on the days and weeks after Mels death. This is not my normal type of fic, so I hope it's okay.

The case was finally passed over, all but wrapped up. Boyd sat looking at the computer screen in front of him, his fingers hovering over the keyboard. Seeing the event play over and over in his mind was easy, actually typing it up was a completely different matter. He had been sat staring at the computer screen for the best part of ten minutes, knowing he had to write his report but having no clue how to do it. In the end he gave up, pushing his chair back from his desk and standing up. He walked out his office after grabbing his coat, the door bouncing back of the wall and closing behind him. Spencer looked up from his desk, his own paperwork long forgotten as he just sat there still looking dazed.

"I'm going out, you want anything?" Boyds voice sounding louder and rougher than usual.

Spencer just blinked a few times, his mind and body on two totally different levels.

"Coffee, if you pass somewhere." His mind not even considering food.

Boyd nodded his head, putting his coat collar right as he turned to look in Graces office. He could see the top of her head over the computer screen, the computer Mel had sat at with her and diligently taught her how to use. He swallowed the lump that was rising in his throat, doing the last button on his coat up as he walked towards her office door. He turned the handle and pushed the door open, not even bothering to knock.

"Grace, I'm going out, do you want anything?" Seeing Grace look up from her computer as he spoke.

"What time is it? Maybe you should grab everyone some lunch." Grace looking down at her watch then back up to Boyd.

"Good idea, all Spencer asked for was coffee, and if I ask Frankie she'll say the same. What shall I get?" Having no clue what anyway actually ate since it was normally Spencer or Mel who went on the lunch run.

"I don't think it matters. Just bring back sandwiches or something." Grace replied, knowing Boyd was thinking of Mel again as she did know what everyone liked.

"Okay, if I screw it up it's your fault though." Attempting to make a joke as he turned and walked out her office.

The walk to the local shops wasn't long, but he took his time. He knew that report was waiting to be written, knew it wasn't going to do itself, yet still not being able to face it. When he reached the small tesco express store he picked up a shopping basket and went inside. He spotted the sandwiches and drinks straight away and made a beeline for them. Getting his own was easy, yet the rest of the teams not so much. He stood looking at all the sandwiches, trying to recall if he had actually seen any of them eating. His mind went blank, his focus out of whack with the rest of the world.

"Cheese, Spencer likes cheese." The happy, bubbly voice in his head that sounded exactly like Mel told him. "Grace likes chicken, and Frankie, you already know Frankie likes prawn or tuna." His body automatically reaching for the sandwiches as he heard imaginary Mel tell him.

He picked up his own ham salad sandwich and headed for the drinks section, picking up the chilled coffee he knew both Spencer and Frankie drank. He got Grace iced tea and himself a Diet Coke, hearing Frankie's voice in his head now giving him a lecture about artificial sweetener. He took everything to the till and paid, dropping the sandwiches in one bag and the drinks in another. Again he took his time walking back, the weight of the world settling on his shoulders the closer he got. He stopped and looked at the big brick building, knowing what waited for him inside.

When he pushed open the doors leading to the cold case units squadroom he found the place empty, even Grace wasn't in her office. He went to Mel's desk and put the bags down, the only space clear since he had cleaned it and boxed all Mel's personal effects up. He looked to the floor where he had placed the box, taken aback to see it wasn't there, the brown box with her name written on in his neat handwriting gone. He looked around the office, wondering where it had gone but not being able to spot it. Where the hell was it? And where the hell was the rest of his team? He took his coat off and threw it on the couch in his office, turning and heading through the double doors that would lead him down to the labs and Frankie. Maybe she knew where everyone was.

When the first set of door opened to the lab Boyd froze, his breathing catching in his throat as he looked through the second set of doors. He blindly reached for a lab coat, managing to put it on without even looking. He keyed in the code and the doors swooshed open, three out of the five people in the lab turning their heads to look at him. He was frozen, his body made of lead as he took in the sight in front of him. Spencer was stood ram rode straight, one arm around Graces waist, his other hand holding Frankie's as she stood on his other side. In front of them was Mr and Mrs Silver. He couldn't breath, couldn't move, his minds eyes playing over Mel's death.

It was Frankie who moved, letting go of Spencer's hand and walking towards him. She stopped beside him, her red, puffy, tear filled eyes focused on his. He blinked, swallowing hard to dislodge the lump in his throat. Frankie slipped her smaller hand in his, grounding him, dragging him back to the present. He squeezed her hand, probably harder than intended as she walked them both over to stand beside Spencer. They stood, all four members of the cold case unit, shoulder to shoulder, as Mr and Mrs Silver looked at their daughter.

Boyd had no idea how long they stood there, the only sounds were deep breathing and muffled crying. He could feel Frankie shaking beside him, her silent sobbing tearing at his heart. He tugged her closer, letting go of her hand as he slid his arm around her waist. Protocol be damned, these were exceptional circumstances, circumstances he never ever wanted to be in again. Frankie shifted against his side, her body turning so she had her face buried against his chest, her arm around his waist as she clung to him. Boyd glanced at Spencer, the man still stood at attention as he supported Grace. His team was a complete mess, everyone grieving in their own way for their lost colleague and friend.

Boyd leaned his head on top of Frankie's, his beard catching her hair and making it slightly messy. Wrapping both arms around her he held her as tight as he could, hoping to piece her back together as they stood there. When he saw the plastic dividers move he looked up, coming face to face with Mr and Mrs Silver. He went tense, Frankie automatically untangling herself from his arms. She stepped forward, moving towards the Silvers as they approached the team.

Frankie opened her mouth to say something but nothing came out so she closed it. Mel's mum broke away from her husbands embrace, reaching out a hand to Frankie. Frankie reached out and took the proffered hand, a shiver running through her at how cold it was.

"Frankie, thank you, for this, for taking care of our baby girl." Mrs Silver said as Frankie felt tears welling up in her eyes up again.

"I'm so sorry, Mrs Silver." Frankie managed to say as she fought to keep control.

"I know dear. At least she died doing what she loved, with people who she classed as friends." Mrs Silvers words cutting to the core of the people left behind on Mel's team.

Boyd stepped forward, not knowing what he was going to say or do but needing to do something.

"Mr and Mrs Silver, I have no words to express how truly sorry I am about what happened to your daughter. Mel will be deeply missed by every single member of this team, and she will never be forgotten." Words automatically flowing as he put on a brave face.

"Thank you superintendent Boyd. I know how much Mel loved working for you, how much she loved working with all of you." Mrs. Silver looking at Grace, Spencer, Frankie then back at Boyd. "Will you all be at the funeral?"

"Of course we will." Grace answering for all the team before anyone else could speak.

"We'll see you all there then." Mr Silver finally speaking as he took his wife's head and looked directly at Boyd.

Boyd just nodded, his hand reaching out for Frankie as he watched the Silvers leave the lab. They all watched as the Silvers left, no one moving, no one speaking, not until they had disappeared out of sight. Frankie cracked first, glancing over at Mel's body before Boyd pulled her flush against his chest. She made a strangled sob sound before she buried her face in Boyds shirt and cried. She had had the worst end of the deal with this. Processing the scene, Mel's body, having to be in the same building, in the same room, while another pathologist was called into do the autopsy. None of them had escaped unscathed.

"I need to see to Mel." Frankie mumbled against Boyds chest, no real conviction in her words.

"We'll wait here for you." Boyd rubbing his hand up and down Frankie's back before letting her go.

Frankie moved slowly through the plastics dividers, stepping up to the table with Mel lying on it. Frankie careful lifted the turned over edge of the sheet up and pulled it over, covering Mel's shoulders and head over. She straightened out the full sheet, removing any creases from it before she turned and started to push Mel back towards the refrigeration lockers. Opening one of the doors she slide Mel's body inside, her hand resting on the door before she shut it. She turned and looked at her colleagues all stood watching her. She stepped back through the plastic dividers, her hands stuffed deep in her lab coat pockets. Boyd stepped forward, holding his arm up for Frankie to slip under. She tucked herself as close to Boyd as she could get, her arms going around his waist as his arm draped across her shoulder.

They all walked solemnly back up the stairs to the squadroom, the bags still on Mel's desk with lunch in. Everyone stopped and looked at the neat and tidy desk, all traces of Mel removed. Boyd didn't let go of Frankie as he moved over to pick up the bags.

"Come on, my office." Leading Frankie to his office as Spencer and Grace followed behind.

Boyd only let go of Frankie when they sat down on the couch. Grace took the chair out from behinds Boyds desk, Spencer sitting in the other chair as Grace moved to sit beside him. When the were all seated Boyd opened the bags and passed everyone their sandwiches. He didn't miss the looks of surprise on Spencer and Graces faces when he passed them their sandwiches, both shocked he had picked them something they liked. Frankie took hers, knowing she didn't have to look, Boyd knew what she liked. He passed out the drinks then sat back, leaning closer to Frankie as he did.

Lunch had never been so quiet, everyone deep in their own thoughts. Boyd was the first finished, nudging Frankie so she would actually eat the sandwich she had been picking at. Frankie did eventually eat it, putting the empty carton on the table and sitting back so she was cuddled up against Boyds side. Spencer had finished just after Boyd and was currently sat yawning, his chin resting on his chest as he fought to stay awake.

"Has anyone in here actually slept in the past three days?" Grace's question making everyone attempt to look awake enough to answer.

Boyd didn't answer, just looked around at his team.

"Not really." Spencer being the first to answer.

"Have either of you slept?" Graces question aimed at Frankie and Boyd.

"It's overrated anyway." Frankie's attempt at humour coming out jumbled in a yawn.

Boyd just shook his head, knowing if he closed his eyes he would replay Mel's death over and over.

"What about you Grace?" Turning the tables and directing her own question back at her.

"More than you lot by the looks of things. Why are we even here? We passed the case over, we are all on a weeks leave so to speak. Mel's family funeral is tomorrow, and her police memorial service is the day after. Let's go home, get some proper rest, even try for some sleep. You can't turn up at either service looking like hell, especially you Boyd." Knowing Boyd would be the centre of attention at the police memorial service, and no doubt talked about at the family one.

"You're right, as usual Grace. How about we regroup, at let's say nine, have breakfast together before the funeral. Show a united front tomorrow." His words an attempt to rally his team.

Frankie just mumbled beside him, her eyes shut as she rested her head on his shoulder. Grace agreed all to willingly, while Spencer nodded his head agreement as well. Grace and Spencer got up, hugging each other before leaving the office and heading to grab their coats. Boyd stayed still, looking down at Frankie as her breathing seemed to even out and her body grew heavy against his side. She had fallen asleep where she sat, the last three days catching up with her. When Grace put her head back around the office door frame Boyd just shrugged, she was the one who had told them all to get some sleep.

"Grace, pass my coat please. And them cushions from down there." Keeping his voice as quiet a possible.

"Your staying here? Why not wake her and go home, she'll sleep better in her own bed, or yours, whichever." Standing with her hands on her hips as she watched Boyd adjust his grip on Frankie so they were both kind of sideways, her head on his chest instead of his shoulder.

"She hasn't slept in three days, she's stayed here, with Mel, since she was brought back. She's had a couple of cat naps at best. She's asleep and I'm leaving her that way. Now pass my coat and them cushions please, at least I can be comfortable while she sleeps." Seeing Grace finally give in and reach for his coat.

He draped the coat over them both as best as he could, using the cushions behind him as he leaned a little to the side. Frankie was still sleeping, her hand gripping his shirt in case he tired to move away.

"Thanks Grace. I'll see you tomorrow." Giving Grace a very small smile as she went to the door.

"Try and get home, Peter. For both your sakes." Closing the office door behind her.

Boyd closed his eyes, quickly opening them again as the image of Mel hitting the car flashed through his mind. He was exhausted, but he couldn't sleep, couldn't close his eyes without replaying Mel hitting the car, or her body lying on the road all bloody and beaten. He used the arm he had around Frankie to hold her impossible close, he buried his face in her hair and inhaled deeply. He needed something to distract him, stop his mind wandering back to events of that day. The smell of Frankie's shampoo, her warm soft body pressed against his, her hand still gripping his shirt, all reminding him he was alive, she was alive, and they had a reason to go on. His body gave up fighting his eyes slipping shut as he gave up fighting. His body and mind slipping into a deep restless sleep, images plaguing him as he tried to fight them off.


	2. 2

Boyd woke suddenly, his body tense and covered in sweat. He thought the vivid images flashing through his mind were what had woke him but as his surroundings come into focus he found himself being hit, small hands hitting him, a body beside him thrashing about uncontrollably.

"Frankie." He called out sharply, trying to get a hold of her as she moved about erratically beside him.

She was sobbing in her sleep, tears streaming down her face as she fought against whatever was plaguing her in her nightmare.

"Frankie, it's okay, wake up, you're safe." His voice a little firmer and louder this time.

He managed to catch hold of both her arms, her movements slowing but her body still trying to escape his grasp.

"Frankie, wake up." He all but yelled, using his grip on her arms to shake her a little.

Frankie woke with a strangled yell, her body tense as she fought against her nightmare. She jerked upwards, dragging her body away from whatever or whoever was holding her. She landed on the floor with a thud, whatever was holding her letting go. She wiped her eyes to clear the tears, blinking rapidly to take in her surroundings. She was in Boyd's office, on the floor, the couch at her back, her clothes stuck to her with sweat.

"Frankie, you okay?" Boyd's voice making her look sharply to her right.

"Boyd, I was," her voice coming out hoarse as she felt his hand resting on her shoulder.

"Come here." Squeezing her shoulder before letting go and patting the seat beside him.

Frankie went to stand up, her legs shaking a little as she managed to get them under her enough to slide back onto the couch. Frankie sat back, looking around the small office.

"Where's Grace and Spencer?" Turning to look at Boyd as she swept her hair out her face and back behind her ear.

"Gone home, you fell asleep and I didn't want to wake you." Reaching out to take her hand in his.

"Maybe we should do the same, go home I mean." Letting her head fall back to the couch and closing her eyes again.

"Sounds like a good idea. I'll drive." His sense of duty, his need to protect kicking in as he stood up slowly.

Frankie wearly followed, her body protesting at the fact it had to move. Boyd took her coat and draped it over her shoulders, neither even attempting to actually get it on. Boyd did pick his up from the floor where it had landed when Frankie woke up and put it on. Frankie seemed to be swaying where she stood, her centre of gravity off due to fatigue. Boyd stepped up beside and pulled her giddy body against his side, his arm going under her coat so he didn't pull it off. They walked through the building and out to the car park like that, Frankie using Boyd as a human pillow to both rest against and keep her upright.

Frankie slept the full car journey home, Boyd seeing her fall asleep as soon as she was seated. It took him what felt like ages to wake her, get her out the car and then into the house. Frankie seemed to be moving on autopilot, kicking her shoes off and stripping her clothes off as she made her way to the bedroom. Boyd followed her mesmerised, seeing her finally climb into bed wearing just her knickers. He just shook his head and left her, returning downstairs to lock up. When he was as equally undressed as Frankie he climbed into bed beside her, her body seeming to sense his presence and move toward him. He turned on his side as she snuggled up to his chest, his arms wrapping protectively around her as she slept.

His nightmares were full of images, images that were real, images his subconscious made up to hurt him more. Mel hitting the car, her broke body on the road in a pool of blood. Mel's body replaced with Frankies, Frankie's lifeless eyes the ones staring back at him. He woke up panting, his breathing fast and ragged. He turned to reach for Frankie but the bed was empty and cold. His panic level rocketed, his mind still whirling from his nightmare. He tossed the covers aside and got out of bed, going into each and every room upstairs looking for Frankie. When she wasn't there he was terrified, terrified his nightmare had been real, that it was indeed Frankie who was dead. He practically ran down the stairs, checking ever room until only the kitchen was left.

The kitchen was dark, no signs of anyone being there. He closed his eyes and reached for the light, flicking it on as his mind prayed when he opened them again he would see Frankie. He heard a sharp intake of breath when the light went on, knowing it wasn't his he opened his eyes and quickly glanced around. Frankie was stood at the sink looking out the window, her face turned away from him. She spun around blinking against the bright light, slowly focusing on Boyd. He looked as terrified as she felt.

"Boyd, what's wrong?" Her own nightmare being swept aside as she saw the look of total panic on his face.

Boyd didn't say anything, just moved across the kitchen and gathered Frankie in his arms, crushing her to his chest. It took Frankie a couple of seconds to respond, slipping her arms up Boyds back as she hugged him. She could feel his laboured breathing, his breath coming out hot and fast against her neck as he buried his face in her shoulder. He was shaking, his body trembling as she held him. Whatever was wrong with him had shaken him badly.

"Boyd." Her hand going up to stroke through his sweat-drenched hair.

When she said his name he only held her tighter as if she was going to disappear if he let her go.

"What's wrong? I can't help if you don't let me in." Turning her head to kiss his temple as she spoke.

"I thought, " finally moving just enough so he could see her face. "I dreamt, Christ Frankie, it was you instead of Mel. It was you lying on the, and all the blood, I thought," Nothing he was saying making much sense as he couldn't finish his sentence.

Frankie took a few seconds to play over in her head what he had just said, stringing the words together as she saw the panic starting to fade from his eyes. His nightmare had been about Mel, about her death, but had somehow morphed into being about her, her being the only killed. Now she understood, no wonder he had grabbed onto her as he had, his nightmare had placed her dead at his feet. She managed to slide her hands up to his face, resting them on his cheeks as she looked into his eyes.

"It's okay, it was just a nightmare. I'm here, you're here, we're both safe and sound." Pushing up on her toes so she could kiss him.

Boyd responded to Frankie kiss eagerly, one of his hands tangling in her hair as he moulded his mouth to hers. He didn't want to let go, wanted to hold her, kiss her, keep her safe at all times. They broke apart when the need to breath became an issue, Boyd leaning down so their foreheads resting against one another.

"Let's go back to bed." Frankie's words ghosting over his face causing goosebumps.

Boyd just nodded his head slightly, moving just enough so he was at Frankie's side with his arm still around her waist. He switched the kitchen light off as they made their way through the dark house to the bedroom, stopping only long enough for Frankie to switch the bathroom light on. Boyd saw her switch the light on and thought nothing of it until they were both tucked up in bed.

"Frankie, what were you doing in the kitchen in the dark?" Only then registering that she was in the kitchen.

"Nothing, just go to sleep." Attempting to put him off and stop him from pushing the matter.

"Frankie." His tone a clear warning that he wanted an answer.

"A had a nightmare, and it was dark when I woke up." Hoping he would get the message and not push her anymore.

"You should have woke me, I'm always here when you need me. Maybe if we wake each other up when it gets bad the nightmares might not seem so real." His recent nightmare still clinging to him as he spooned himself around Frankie protectively.

Frankie didn't reply, just placed her own hands on top of his where they rested on her shoulder and stomach. They knew each other's secrets, the things that haunted them both when sleeping and awake. As each day passed, they added more to the list of demons to plague them. Neither could escape, but as Boyd had said, if they shared the horror maybe it wouldn't be so bad when it struck. Frankie closed her eyes, breathing in deeply. The day ahead was going to be long and painful for them both, but together maybe just maybe they would get through it.


End file.
